POST HOLLOW SYNDROME
Chapter 9- One
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Kai kicked aside a pebble as he walked the path up to the school doors. He had spent a lot of time awake last night, working on the beginnings of another helmet and thinking about the heavy task ahead of him: repairing the broken bonds between Adam and Mira.
It was going to be hard, but hopefully not too hard. All he had to do was talk sense to them, right? If there was one thing Kai was good at outside of tinkering, it was talking. He just wasn't sure what words he was supposed to use. Just because he was good at talking didn't mean he was good with words. As a matter of fact, words were his greatest weakness.
But he was a man now. Men were supposed to face their weaknesses and get past them, right? He swallowed nervously. He hoped he could.
Kai looked around for any sign of Adam or Mira. He didn't see Adam, but he did see Mira on her way up the stairs to the front door. He picked up the pace, hoping to catch her once she was inside. Seconds later, however, Kai noticed Spud in the distance, also on his way to the entrance. He broke into a run--- he couldn't let Spud catch him alone!
He rocketed up the stairs and caught up to Mira at the very top. Panting, Kai jogged ahead of her and threw open the door. He leaned back against it to hold it open for his friend. "Hey, Mira!" he greeted her chipperly.
Mira smiled and nodded in return as she walked through the door. "Hey, Kai. Thanks."
Kai grinned, relieved. Mira seemed genuinely happy to see him, and that was miles better than yesterday.
"Have you... seen Adam yet today?" She sounded unsure if she should ask the question.
Kai felt a twinge of annoyance pinch his heart. The smile fell from his face. "No, not yet," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence between the two as they made their way down the hall. Kai licked his lip. How was he supposed to do this "mediator" thing? He knew he was ill-suited for this role, but a man had to do what a man had to do. Think, Kai, think! "Hey, Mira. Um... wanna sit with us again?"
"No thanks, Kai," Mira declined. She looked aside, as if nervous of Kai's reaction. "You and Adam are fine without me."
"Are not!" Kai squeaked. "Adam's been feeling really bad about what he said. He's just... he's um... he's..." His words faltered when he realized he couldn't think of anything that could justify Adam's behavior in such a way that it would make him seem approachable. Or like he was in the right, for that matter. "That is to say he'll um... he'll come around eventually. Just let him know you'll be open to it when he decides he's ready. OK?"
Mira shook her head. "Look. If Adam isn't ready to talk to me yet, fine. I'll let him be." Kai's brow furrowed in thought. This was even harder than he thought it was going to be. He was about to respond, but Mira added onto her last statement after a brief pause. "Besides, I..." She sighed. "I don't think I'm ready either."
Kai swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. "Oh." He scratched the back of his head. "You don't mind if we talk, do you?"
Mira smiled back into Kai's honest gaze. "No, Kai, of course not."
Kai stood up a little taller, grateful that she at least still enjoyed his company. She had boosted his hopes by some margin, though there was still a long way to go. Next step: Getting them to sit beside each other again.
The two entered homeroom. Kai noticed that Adam was already seated. He'd gone on ahead--- that couldn't be a good sign. He was probably in one of his moods again, Kai bemoaned. Still, there were two seats open to Adam's side--- perfect! Kai smiled and waved. Mira didn't seem quite as happy to see Adam. Neither did Adam, for that matter. He turned his head aside.
But Kai was determined, and he had an opportunity. "Hey look, Mira! Two empty seats right there. We can have a chat there, won't have to talk over someone else." He faux smiled and plunked down in the seat furthest from Adam. Mira gave him a weak smile and hesitantly slipped into the seat between Kai and Adam. Now, Kai thought, they could get a conversation going.
Instead, both Mira and Adam sat extremely silent, never looking at one another. And whenever Kai would try to talk to Mira, she'd give brief answers that did not make for a pleasant conversation. He finally gave up and resigned himself to waiting for class to start. Kai was disappointed, but there were still hours left in the day. He'd get them to talk eventually.
The three teens kept their distance from one another on their way down to the lunch room, though Kai made sure he had one or the other near him at all times. Kai had hoped he could deal with the situation before now, but he had to admit that lunch time was yet another great opportunity to get his friends to talk to one another again. He made his way to their usual spot and looked around for either of the two.
Mira glanced back at Kai and sat down at the same table she'd sat at yesterday. Kai sat down with a disappointed frown. So much for that plan.
Adam slunk in beside him with a sigh. "Hey," he greeted. "Sorry for being so quiet today."
Kai felt the annoyance rise up again. He furrowed his brow. "It's not me you should apologize to." He pointed at Mira's turned back. "Look. Mira's just waiting for you to talk to her."
Adam sighed. "Well, why's she sitting over there, then?" He sank down onto his palms. "Accept it, Kai. I blew it with her."
A flame burst to life deep inside of Kai. How could Adam think like that? "No, I won't accept it!" he exclaimed. "I talked to her on the way in. She'd be open to being friends again if you'd just say so. Seriously, dude. Why don't you just apologize already?"
"I just don't want to deal with it now, Kai," Adam admitted.
Kai scoffed. "Why, cause you're still soooo ashamed?"
"Yeah... maybe. Look, I don't know how to say it to her. It's not that I don't want to, it's just... I'm not... good with this sort of thing."
"Just be honest!" said Kai. He couldn't believe how stubborn his friend was being! Adam was silent. "You're supposed to be her friend. Our friend. Stop making excuses about why you can't and just do it already!"
"I'm just---"
"Just nothing!" Kai snapped. "You're just... Stop pushing this off, man! I've had it with you pushing her away, and and and... pretending she isn't there, just 'cause you're too scared and proud to say you're sorry!"
"Kai, listen to me! That isn't---"
"No, you listen! Stop talking!" He smacked the table emphatically. Several people turned to look at him. He didn't care. The fire had risen inside of him and he wasn't going to stop blazing now. "You know what? As long as you wait around and say nothing, you can be by yourself," he threatened. Something in the back of his mind told him that probably wasn't the best idea right now, but he didn't care about that either. "I'm done!"
Adam looked as if he was about to object--- to send some half-formed argument back in vain--- but one look at the tenacious fire in Kai's eyes shut him down. Adam knew Kai had told the truth. His job here was done. Without another word, he stood up and took his lunch to another table.
As he sat down at a table on his own, he caught sight of Spud watching him with interest. But to Kai's surprise, he found he couldn't care less. He knew he could join Mira, but he wanted to see if Adam would act on his conviction.
For a while, it seemed as if he just might. Adam would glance back and forth between his lunch and Mira, with an occasional concerned glance toward Kai. The gears were turning in his head for sure. But he never moved from that spot until the lunch bell rang. Then he was out the door and off to his next class before Mira had even risen from her seat.
Kai grunted in disgust as he crumpled up his paper bag and tossed it into the garbage can. For someone so smart, Adam sure was dumb when it came to people. On his way out of the lunch room, he caught sight of Spud's watchful eye on him again. No doubt the terror would make a move soon, once he got a chance.
Kai knew he should be terrified. He was alone again, and he had a terrifying bully breathing down his neck, ready to pounce at any moment. Yet for whatever reason, the fear he'd felt nonstop ever since his first encounter with Spud that year was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he was just too angry with Adam to care that he was still in imminent danger.
He was on his own now. He could figure out this glitch problem better without having to deal with Adam drowning in a pool of his own angst. Only problem now was, to his greater frustration, the three were now even further apart than they were before.
So much for being a mediator.
It was going to be hard, but hopefully not too hard. All he had to do was talk sense to them, right? If there was one thing Kai was good at outside of tinkering, it was talking. He just wasn't sure what words he was supposed to use. Just because he was good at talking didn't mean he was good with words. As a matter of fact, words were his greatest weakness.
But he was a man now. Men were supposed to face their weaknesses and get past them, right? He swallowed nervously. He hoped he could.
Kai looked around for any sign of Adam or Mira. He didn't see Adam, but he did see Mira on her way up the stairs to the front door. He picked up the pace, hoping to catch her once she was inside. Seconds later, however, Kai noticed Spud in the distance, also on his way to the entrance. He broke into a run--- he couldn't let Spud catch him alone!
He rocketed up the stairs and caught up to Mira at the very top. Panting, Kai jogged ahead of her and threw open the door. He leaned back against it to hold it open for his friend. "Hey, Mira!" he greeted her chipperly.
Mira smiled and nodded in return as she walked through the door. "Hey, Kai. Thanks."
Kai grinned, relieved. Mira seemed genuinely happy to see him, and that was miles better than yesterday.
"Have you... seen Adam yet today?" She sounded unsure if she should ask the question.
Kai felt a twinge of annoyance pinch his heart. The smile fell from his face. "No, not yet," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence between the two as they made their way down the hall. Kai licked his lip. How was he supposed to do this "mediator" thing? He knew he was ill-suited for this role, but a man had to do what a man had to do. Think, Kai, think! "Hey, Mira. Um... wanna sit with us again?"
"No thanks, Kai," Mira declined. She looked aside, as if nervous of Kai's reaction. "You and Adam are fine without me."
"Are not!" Kai squeaked. "Adam's been feeling really bad about what he said. He's just... he's um... he's..." His words faltered when he realized he couldn't think of anything that could justify Adam's behavior in such a way that it would make him seem approachable. Or like he was in the right, for that matter. "That is to say he'll um... he'll come around eventually. Just let him know you'll be open to it when he decides he's ready. OK?"
Mira shook her head. "Look. If Adam isn't ready to talk to me yet, fine. I'll let him be." Kai's brow furrowed in thought. This was even harder than he thought it was going to be. He was about to respond, but Mira added onto her last statement after a brief pause. "Besides, I..." She sighed. "I don't think I'm ready either."
Kai swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. "Oh." He scratched the back of his head. "You don't mind if we talk, do you?"
Mira smiled back into Kai's honest gaze. "No, Kai, of course not."
Kai stood up a little taller, grateful that she at least still enjoyed his company. She had boosted his hopes by some margin, though there was still a long way to go. Next step: Getting them to sit beside each other again.
The two entered homeroom. Kai noticed that Adam was already seated. He'd gone on ahead--- that couldn't be a good sign. He was probably in one of his moods again, Kai bemoaned. Still, there were two seats open to Adam's side--- perfect! Kai smiled and waved. Mira didn't seem quite as happy to see Adam. Neither did Adam, for that matter. He turned his head aside.
But Kai was determined, and he had an opportunity. "Hey look, Mira! Two empty seats right there. We can have a chat there, won't have to talk over someone else." He faux smiled and plunked down in the seat furthest from Adam. Mira gave him a weak smile and hesitantly slipped into the seat between Kai and Adam. Now, Kai thought, they could get a conversation going.
Instead, both Mira and Adam sat extremely silent, never looking at one another. And whenever Kai would try to talk to Mira, she'd give brief answers that did not make for a pleasant conversation. He finally gave up and resigned himself to waiting for class to start. Kai was disappointed, but there were still hours left in the day. He'd get them to talk eventually.
The three teens kept their distance from one another on their way down to the lunch room, though Kai made sure he had one or the other near him at all times. Kai had hoped he could deal with the situation before now, but he had to admit that lunch time was yet another great opportunity to get his friends to talk to one another again. He made his way to their usual spot and looked around for either of the two.
Mira glanced back at Kai and sat down at the same table she'd sat at yesterday. Kai sat down with a disappointed frown. So much for that plan.
Adam slunk in beside him with a sigh. "Hey," he greeted. "Sorry for being so quiet today."
Kai felt the annoyance rise up again. He furrowed his brow. "It's not me you should apologize to." He pointed at Mira's turned back. "Look. Mira's just waiting for you to talk to her."
Adam sighed. "Well, why's she sitting over there, then?" He sank down onto his palms. "Accept it, Kai. I blew it with her."
A flame burst to life deep inside of Kai. How could Adam think like that? "No, I won't accept it!" he exclaimed. "I talked to her on the way in. She'd be open to being friends again if you'd just say so. Seriously, dude. Why don't you just apologize already?"
"I just don't want to deal with it now, Kai," Adam admitted.
Kai scoffed. "Why, cause you're still soooo ashamed?"
"Yeah... maybe. Look, I don't know how to say it to her. It's not that I don't want to, it's just... I'm not... good with this sort of thing."
"Just be honest!" said Kai. He couldn't believe how stubborn his friend was being! Adam was silent. "You're supposed to be her friend. Our friend. Stop making excuses about why you can't and just do it already!"
"I'm just---"
"Just nothing!" Kai snapped. "You're just... Stop pushing this off, man! I've had it with you pushing her away, and and and... pretending she isn't there, just 'cause you're too scared and proud to say you're sorry!"
"Kai, listen to me! That isn't---"
"No, you listen! Stop talking!" He smacked the table emphatically. Several people turned to look at him. He didn't care. The fire had risen inside of him and he wasn't going to stop blazing now. "You know what? As long as you wait around and say nothing, you can be by yourself," he threatened. Something in the back of his mind told him that probably wasn't the best idea right now, but he didn't care about that either. "I'm done!"
Adam looked as if he was about to object--- to send some half-formed argument back in vain--- but one look at the tenacious fire in Kai's eyes shut him down. Adam knew Kai had told the truth. His job here was done. Without another word, he stood up and took his lunch to another table.
As he sat down at a table on his own, he caught sight of Spud watching him with interest. But to Kai's surprise, he found he couldn't care less. He knew he could join Mira, but he wanted to see if Adam would act on his conviction.
For a while, it seemed as if he just might. Adam would glance back and forth between his lunch and Mira, with an occasional concerned glance toward Kai. The gears were turning in his head for sure. But he never moved from that spot until the lunch bell rang. Then he was out the door and off to his next class before Mira had even risen from her seat.
Kai grunted in disgust as he crumpled up his paper bag and tossed it into the garbage can. For someone so smart, Adam sure was dumb when it came to people. On his way out of the lunch room, he caught sight of Spud's watchful eye on him again. No doubt the terror would make a move soon, once he got a chance.
Kai knew he should be terrified. He was alone again, and he had a terrifying bully breathing down his neck, ready to pounce at any moment. Yet for whatever reason, the fear he'd felt nonstop ever since his first encounter with Spud that year was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he was just too angry with Adam to care that he was still in imminent danger.
He was on his own now. He could figure out this glitch problem better without having to deal with Adam drowning in a pool of his own angst. Only problem now was, to his greater frustration, the three were now even further apart than they were before.
So much for being a mediator.